My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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