We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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