Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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