at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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