the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You ate ashes out of my bong
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize