If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
