i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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