it hurts more in the daytime
only if we run a train.
done.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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