cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
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They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
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No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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