I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize