Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize