Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Who died my cat blue again?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
