nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
