carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Randomize
