she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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