Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
