Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
