It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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