I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
