I CAN MOONWALK!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize