it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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