I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
