Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just gift wrapped bread.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I love you. Go after that dick
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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