if you like me you must not know who I am
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
