all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
