Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
