I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
