roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
