so explain again why im purple
no
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
