now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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