You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
