Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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