I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Randomize
