Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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