Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i think im in europe. pls send help
as a side note pls kill me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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