you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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