you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
