I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
