He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
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my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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