if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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