I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
