She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
love makes seman taste better
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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