So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
