I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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