I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
