Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
