You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
