I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just cropdusted the office
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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