Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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