Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
