What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Randomize
