Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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