Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Someone came in the potted fern
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
