I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
