There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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