jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
