home. puking in laundry basket.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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