Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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