she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
