Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just google imaged poop.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
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He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
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