no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
