Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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