She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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