Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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