I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize