So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
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Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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