Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
