KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
